Click on the title of a song to see the lyrics, or scroll down to view all. If the song is recorded and available for sale, it will be linked above the lyrics.

NOTE: This is a work in progress! #quarantinechores

Arms and Eyes
The Autumn of Western Civilization (Everything Tastes Like Pumpkins)
The Ballad of Me and My Books
Black Market Queen
Buried on the Beach
Cabbage Rose
Computer, End Program
Fictional Love
Four of a Kind (Half-a-Mo #2)
Hell (Is Just Another Heaven) (Half-a-Mo #1)
The Hounds of God
I Want to Hold Your Hand in German (Half-a-Mo #4)
The Kids Are Fine, Alright?
Lullaby for Lily Grace
Lullaby for Opportunity
The Medicine
More Than What (or “The Duplicity of Man”)
My Honeybunch Lee
My River Song
Nerdy Pop Culture Property Song
Oh, Vincent
Paper Towns
Put a Stone Upon My Grave
Quite the Guy
Rigel’s Song
Seersucker Prince
Solitaire
The Tension’s Mountain Boys
Thylacine, Thylacine
Trying Not To (Half-a-Mo #3)
When Bridget Riley Smiles
When the Band Plays (In 3/4 Time)
Zoe’s Silver Space Suit

Arms and Eyes
Unreleased, EP scheduled for 2021

It took a year for me to notice
you had arms and eyes
I’m not sure why it took me so long
I saw you so many times
I was distracted just enough
by someone else standing nearby
But even then, I somehow knew
He wasn’t you, it was a sign

I wrote the same letter six times
and I regret every word
I gave up and started again
but yet again it was absurd
To think that you’d even remember
what I said or what you heard
You’re a giant
I’m a little pillbug hidden ‘neath the earth

So boy, put your records on
Play my new favorite songs
Then laugh and say you don’t know what to say
I’ll say it for you if you let me get in your way

I walk down streets that you know well
and I get lost, but I will learn
I spent hours in the caves
looking for you ‘round every turn
My friends look at me with pity in their faces, all concern
An empty window makes me think of you
and boy does my face burn

I’m traveling somewhere I’ve never been
I bet you know you the way
You’re a few miles up the road
just out of sight but I can’t say
Can I ever catch up to you where you are,
is it too late
You’re so fast and I’m so slow
and I’m afraid that you won’t wait

But boy, put your records on
play my new favorite songs
Then laugh and say you don’t know what to say
I’ll say it for you if you let me get in your way

So boy, put your records on
Play my new favorite songs
I’ll laugh and say I don’t know what to say
You’d say it for me if I would get out of my own way

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The Autumn of Western Civilization
Release: 2015 YouTube video, 2014 on “B-Sides” & “Rarities”

Everyone’s putting ‘way electric fans
and getting out their sweaters
We’ve stopped worrying about our tans
and thinking ’bout something better
The air is getting crisper
and I’ve started wearing socks
Everywhere I go there’s whispers
of a time that’s not on clocks
But nevertheless it’s coming soon
Or wait⁠—no⁠—is it here?
Has it finally truly started
this, my favorite time of year?

It’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Scarves and hats are feeling nice time
Cinnamon-nutmeg-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now

It’s popularized by Starbucks lattes
but everywhere you go now is that taste
in cookies and candy and body lotion
And now that it’s here I’ve got a notion
That Halloween is just ’round the bend
You better start costume shopping friend
And after that Thanksgiving so tasty
And then⁠—let’s focus on fall, don’t be too hasty

‘Cause it’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Shorts and sunglasses at half price time
Cinnamon-ginger-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now

We won’t be seeing the sun too often
The only drawback to what the Brits call “Autumn”
Get on your boots and button up your flannel
Sorry if you’ve got solar panels

‘Cause it’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Eating your feelings by the slice time
Cinnamon-nutmeg-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins

Everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Getting harder to find a nice rhyme
Cinnamon nutmeg clove and ginger
and sometimes mace
and apple cider
and cocoa and leggings and what the heck is allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now

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The Ballad of Me and My Books
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

If I said I loved you
Would you believe it?
I’ve said it so many times
But I don’t treat you right, it’s true
And anyone can see it
Even though you complete my life

You’ve been living on that shitty
particleboard shelf from Ikea
for ten years or more
Except the fantasy and sci-fi
all crammed on a CD rack I
got for free when I worked at the record store
There’s tacky romance stacked
on top of YA paperbacks
Empire Falls next to The Stars’ Tennis Balls
Shakespeare props up Scott Pilgrim
My bookshelf’s looking pretty grim
And I just don’t know what to do at all

They say if you love something, set it free
But somehow I doubt all my books
would come back to me
Maybe it’s time to grow a pair
Stop piling new books everywhere
I’m a grownup and I could
buy something actually made of wood
My books bring me so much joy
It’s time they got the real McCoy
Although I know it might cost a bit more
That’s what God invented credit cards for

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Black Market Queen
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

She was a sweet country girl with big blue eyes
and ringlets of gold in her hair
She had a daddy called her princess and always said
she'd never have a single worry or care 
But that princess grew up and daddy skipped town
And she was stuck without a dime to her name
So she pulled up her boots and put on her crown
and said "I'll rule this county just the same"

She was the belle of the ball
And the top of her class
And if you try to cheat her she'll cut you down fast
She's as cool as ice and bold as brass
And she'll fill up Carolina's glass
She's the Black Market Queen of the Flask

Well by about the time she was twenty and five
she was bootlegging bourbon and selling off wine
She had an eye for a deal and could sniff out a lie
'Fore you knew it, girl was selling across the state lines
Was a time or two she nearly got caught
and spent the rest of her life in shame
But a Carolina mama doesn't raise no fools
Hail to the queen, long may she reign!

She was the belle of the ball
And the top of her class
And if you try to cheat her she'll cut you down fast
She's as cool as ice and bold as brass
And she'll fill up Carolina's glass
Well she's the Black Market Queen of the Flask

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Buried on the Beach
Unreleased

There's a boy I once loved
I once held in my arms
Now he's far away, out of my reach
Gone are his smile
his laugh, and his charms
The boy buried on the beach

He went for a sailor
When he was 18
Sailed far away, out of my reach
I counted the days
'til he'd return to me
The boy buried on the beach

I waited so patiently
Biding the years
While far away, out of my reach
For he owned my heart, my soul and my tears
The boy buried on the beach

He met me by moonlight
when he returned
So near, but still out of my reach
He showed me he now wore
A gold wedding band
The boy buried on the beach

There's a boy I once loved
I once held in my arms
Now he's far away, out of her reach
Gone are his lies,
his inconstant charms
The boy buried on the beach

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Cabbage Rose
Release: 2018, on You Have Queer Street Cred

I love the girl called Cabbage Rose
I'll never let her cry
And if I lose my Cabbage Rose
I think that I will die
Yes, I think that I will die

I've traveled all the land and sea
I've rambled here and there
I've climbed the mountain tops
And I have roamed without a care
But now I've found my hobo queen
And never will I stray
I will belong to Cabbage Rose 
until my dying day

CHORUS

I'll shine the shoes upon your feet
I'll fix your leakin' sole
I'll sing a song or play a tune 
To keep stew inside my bowl
Give me work and do be kind
or I'll have to move along
And I will lose the Cabbage Rose 
for whom I wrote this song

CHORUS

Cabbage Rose is tall and fair
Her hair is black as night
Her cheeks are sweet and pink
Her eyes are like two pennies bright
Her voice is like a turtledove
a-callin' out my name
Now I have met my Cabbage Rose
I'll never be the same

I love the girl called Cabbage Rose
I'll never let her cry
And if I lose my Cabbage Rose
I think that I will die
Yes, I know that I will die

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Computer, End Program
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

In the 1980s, when I was a little girl
I saw a show that showed me the most magic future world
And when my folks were mean
I'd think about the world on my TV screen
I'd say these words and hope that it would take me far away

Computer, end program
Take me away from here
Take me to the future where
life's easier to bear
Take me to a time where 
they've abolished doubt and fear
Computer
Are you there?

I knew there must have been some reason
I'd been trapped in that dull life
Obviously my real folks were a Commander and his wife
She'd always understand my thoughts and feelings, she'd just know
And one day they'll come and bring me back to my starship home

CHORUS
 
Even though I'm grown up now 
And know it's all fantasy
There still are times when life gets to be 
too much to believe 
And when I feel defeated, brokedown and beaten,
like I just can't win
I find myself saying these words,
as if this time, maybe I'll get in

Computer, end program
Take me far away from here
Take me to that future where 
Life's got to be a little easier to bear
Take me to that time where
they've abolished doubt and fear
Computer, are you there?

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Fictional Love
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

When I was a girl I wrote silly love songs
I now regret
That favorably compared me and the boys I liked
to Romeo and Juliet
But now I’m older and now I’m wiser
and now I recognize
What real, functional relationships look like
So it should come to no surprise

I want you to be the Harry to my Sally
Can you be the Zoe to my Wash
We could be like Han and Leia
‘Cause “I know” you love me
Like Willow loved her Oz
(I will fight you.)
Be the Phroso to my Venus
Or the Westley to my Buttercup
We could spar like Benedick and Beatrice
You know we’d never get enough
If we had fictional love

(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)

Just pour me a gin and tonic
and I’ll be the Nora to your Nick
You could be Scott Pilgrim to my Ramona Flowers
if I grew my hair “like this”
And if either of us had to die
Tragically or otherwise
I’d rather be your Hazel Grace
or your Angel Dumott Schunard
You could be the Zero Cool to my Acid Burn
Or the Ron to my Hermione
We could spar like Lizzie and Mr. Darcy
Oh, you know just how it would be
If we had fictional love

(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)

I don’t want a fairy tale
or a tragic love that ends in tears
Don’t lead me on like Aragorn
Just be my Faramir
We could ride your scooter through Monmartre
Like Nino and Amélie
Or dance across the rooftops
If you’d be the Bert to my Mary
You could be the Megan to my Fleinhart
Or the Hodgins to my Angela
We could spar like Gilbert and Anne Shirley
Oh, you know we’d never get enough
If we had fictional love

(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)

Or you could be the Jack to my Sally
or the Gomez to my Morticia
or the Morey to my Babette
or the Chase to my Gert (Or the Lord Peter to my Harriet)
or the Ruby to my Sapphire
or the Booga to my Tank Girl
Or you could be my Little Prince
and I could be your rose

Four of a Kind (Half-a-Mo #2)
Unreleased

 When you move on out to Hollywood
 and you're reaching for the stars
 You're hoping for your name in lights
 driving fancy cars
 But you'll settle for a bungalow 
 and some friends to share the load
 And a landlord who knows
 what it's like to be
 Four of a kind
 A shoulder to cry on and keep you in line
 Four of a kind
 They've been there too, tell 'em what's on your mind
 Four of a kind
 It's your time to shine

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Hell (Is Just Another Heaven) (Half-a-Mo #1)
Unreleased

 Hell is just another heaven
 Another place with not that much to do
 But if you end up in hell
 Then baby, you might as well
 Be a murderer like me
 and that's the truth
 You could go to dog heaven
 or Jewish heaven
 You could go to beach heaven
 except it's full
 But if you go to hell
 Then baby, you might as well
 Be a murderer like me
 and that's the truth

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The Hounds of God
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

In the summer twilight 
underneath the ghostly moon
The ivy-twined jungle 
sings a solitary tune
Beneath an oak by lightning struck
there lies a grave forgot
Cracked and broken, water-stained 
with decimated rot

Oh, stay away
Oh, boy you better stay away

Beware the headless angel
listen to her silent cries
Far from the sanctuary 
where your old caretaker lies
He warned you of the danger
but you didn't heed his word
And when the ghouls have got you 
will your cries for help be heard?

Oh, stay away
Oh, boy you better stay
Away from the gates of hell
Where day folk fear and night folk dwell
A road, and nothing but a road
That leads you far afield
Lightning strikes the dead red sky
In a place where bad things go to die
When you think at last your soul is lost
The Hounds of God are there

Traveling their own road
Going into Hell and out
They move like spirits in the night
Unplagued by fear or doubt
The gift their maker gave them
lets them save you from yourself
Pursuing evildoers past the tolling of the bell
 
CHORUS

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I Want to Hold Your Hand in German (Half-a-Mo #4)
Unreleased

I want to hold your hand in German
And stroke your hair in Japanese 
I’ll learn to sigh your name in Persian
And kiss you in French til we’re weak in the knees
I’ll tell you just exactly how I feel in ancient Aramaic
Before I ever say a word you’d understand

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The Kids Are Fine, Alright?
Unreleased

 It's a tale as old as time
 A song as old as rhyme
 People wanna know just why
 The young people are so mystifying
 They don't act the way we did
 Who can understand those crazy kids
 It's almost like every generation
 changes to avoid cultural stagnation

 I might be going out on a limb
 But bear with this unpopular opinion
 It's possible society isn't in defeat
 just 'cause no one ever actually needed dryer sheets
 And maybe, just maybe, all those participation trophies
 Actually weren't our fault
 Hey, we weren't the ones that were handing 'em out

 The kids are fine
 The kids are gonna be just fine
 The kids are alright
 The kids always turn out alright

So we don't have diamonds or life insurance or ever get a raise
but we have feminism and discourse 
and we're all pretty freakin' gay
We'll take selfies if we damn well please
celebrate random anniversaries—
"On This Day in 2003, I tried hummus for the first time"
Apparently.

CHORUS

Hey you know what millennials REALLY love?
Ironic nostalgia!
Don't stop believin', hold on to that feelin'
Take on me (take on me)
Come on Barbie, let's go party (ah ah ah yeah)
I bless the rains down in Africa
Can you feel the love 
tonight's the night
when two become one
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rules and I hit the ground running
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
Backstreet's Back -- all right!

CHORUS

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Lullaby for Lily Grace
Unreleased

Lily Grace, come rest your head
The stars are beckoning you to bed
Lily Grace, just close your eyes
The stars are watching you from the sky
Dream your dreams and have no fears
When you awake, you'll cry no tears

All day long you ran and played
You've danced your dance and now it's late
Lily Grace, now count your sheep
And let me sing you into sleep
Wink and blink and nod goodnight
Everything will be alright

Lily Grace, your heart is new
You'll learn someday all it can do
Lily Grace, someday you'll cry
Mother will be there to dry your eyes
There is so much to feel and see
For now you're safe
so sleep, baby

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Lullaby for Opportunity
Release: 2019 single

Close your eyes, little rover, close your eyes 
'Cause it's getting dark and you know you're getting tired 
You've been roving all day long 
And a-singing your roving song 
So close your eyes, little rover, close your eyes 

Rest your head, little rover, rest your head 
Let the dust fall down around you like a blanket red  
You've been working oh so hard 
And you've traveled oh so far 
So rest your head, little rover, rest your head 

Go to sleep, little rover, go to sleep 
Just fall into those dreams so sweet and deep 
Your sister's waiting there for you 
And we'll keep working while you do 
So go to sleep, little rover, go to sleep

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More Than What 
OR “The Duplicity of Man”
OR “I Hereby Announce My Candidacy for Continuing to Try” 
Unreleased, EP scheduled for 2021

I want to live in big cities, spend weeks in small towns
And sometimes spend days in the woods
I want to stay up ‘til sunrise and dance with the stars
And never see my phone again

But I know I’ll need my phone again
‘Cause I can’t stay upright without all of my friends
So I’ll run through the woods one more time
Then go home to my little place by the bay

I say that I write but all I write are songs
And that’s all people know of my time
And I wish I was young so I had more time left
But I hate being taken for 25

‘Cause I remember who I was at 25
And I know how much I’ve changed
and how much I’ve tried                                  
So I never want to be seen as something that’s less
Or just not what I am

And I’ll sing it one more time
And I’ll make one more tired old rhyme
And I’ll tell you I intend to try
To be something more
Than what I got

Sometimes I wanna laugh and sometimes I wanna cry 
And sometimes I wanna hide in a cave
Sometimes I wish no one would look me in the eye
But then I wish everyone knew my name

‘Cause I sing about whiskey but then I drink prosecco
I live like a shout when I feel like an echo
Sometimes when this livin' gets to feel like a prison
I start to forget who I am

I hate lavender, but I love lilacs    
And I love being on the road, but I sure hate driving
‘Cause I contain multitudes

CHORUS

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My River Song
Release: 2013 on Edit That Shit

When we met I knew I'd seen your
face before in the future once
I was so sure that you'd remember
How can I convince you I'm the one?
Every day I try to remind you
of the things we'll do one day
You'll get it soon, you're awfully clever
But for now it's hard to make you stay
 
And I know you like I know the back of both my hands
You and I one day we traveled here and far to distant lands
When you're with me things won't have gone wrong
Until then I'll sing my river song

You have told me all your secrets
That you can't tell anyone
Our love light's an unlit ember
We'll burn bright, but now you turn and run 
Even when you're near I'm wishing
You'd coming walking through that door
Save me from the past and present
In the future we'll have so much more

And you know me like you've known no one else in your time
Lord I know we'll get there someday
The wait though, is a crime
When I'm with you things won't have gone wrong
Until then I sing my river song

Each day of my future is our past
Each one of your firsts will be my last

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Nerdy Pop Culture Property Song
(or, "A Song That Was Dated a Month After it Was Written")
Release: 2014 YouTube video, 2014 on "B-Sides" & "Rarities"

You guys like stuff, right?
And you like stuff about the stuff you like
So if I sing about the stuff you like
Will you like that too?

You like Star Wars, right?
Han totally shot first
I only watch the first three
'cause the prequels were so trashy
But the new Disney stuff might be alright
(Shit, you're losing them)

How about Doctor Who
He's a madman in a big blue box
Fighting Cybermen and Daleks
Sometimes blowing shit all to heck
But -- I mean -- he always tries to do the right -- crap

Arrested Development
Something about illusions not tricks
And there's a banana stand, and a muscle suit
David Cross blows himself
Damn, I blew the joke
(I don't know what I expected…)

If I keep singing about pop culture
I know I just can't lose
I gotta keep up with that pop culture
If I ever wanna get on JoCo Cruise

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Oh, Vincent
Released: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

Oh, Vincent
Your matriarchs didn't have luck at home
Your mother and hers raised their kids alone
They sent their shiftless men packing off
No wonder you wanted better odds

Oh, Vincent
You made all the girls at school swoon and sigh
The redhead they all wanted to be like
And to be near

Oh, Vincent
You had it all, what else could you want
Burning your candle at both ends, you did it all
All the boys and the girls 'round your little finger with
Beauty and talent and wit and luck at first
Beautiful, this day
Beautiful, this day
Beautiful, this day
No matter

Oh, Vincent
You traveled the world with your lovers
Left him at home writing letters
Begging you to return to your Steepletop
Wanting you near, but you just couldn't stop

Oh, Vincent
When you lost your world that night, didn't it sting
Couldn't find solace in anything
Your head full of what was gone up in flames
Even the morphine could only ease the pain

Oh, Vincent
You had it all, what else could you want
Burning your candle at both ends, you did it all
All the boys and the girls 'round your little finger with
Beauty and talent and wit and luck at first
Beautiful, this day
Beautiful, this day
Beautiful, this day
No matter who has died

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Paper Towns
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred

I was a dreamer and you were a dream
You were a schemer and we were a team
You showed me the way to a dozen places new
Hidden from sight 'til I followed you
Wanna build you a castle of stone and sand
No wishes or dreams, just these two hands
Let's go, we should have hit the road yesterday
Roll out the map, show me the way

And take me to a paper town
Hand in hand, we'll tear each building down
See what's hidden behind the lie
See what's real, see what's inside

I'll let you take the mask from off my face
You'll just see a star as it falls from grace
Only if you promise to let me in
And never ever to ever never ever let me down again
I want something real, something I can touch
Spent my whole life wanting it this much
Maybe I'm fool to still believe
That you're the hero I thought I'd need

To take me to a paper town
You and me, we're gonna burn it down
We're gonna set this whole town aglow
Should have set a match to this place long ago

Even if you never return my call
You'll always be the one who set me free
Please take my weight, don't let me fall

And take me to a paper town
We'll take hands and tear each building down
See what's hidden behind the lie
See what's real, see what's inside
Take me to a paper town
You and me, we're gonna burn it down
We're gonna set this whole town aglow
Should have set a match to this place long ago

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