Click on the title of a song to see the lyrics, or scroll down to view all. If the song is recorded and available for sale, it will be linked above the lyrics.
NOTE: This is a work in progress! If the lyrics you’re looking for aren’t listed here yet, check my Bandcamp store — all recorded originals have lyrics!
Arms and Eyes
The Autumn of Western Civilization (Everything Tastes Like Pumpkins)
The Ballad of Me and My Books
Black Market Queen
Buried on the Beach
Cabbage Rose
Computer, End Program
Fictional Love
Four of a Kind (Half-a-Mo #2)
Hell (Is Just Another Heaven) (Half-a-Mo #1)
The Hounds of God
I Want to Hold Your Hand in German (Half-a-Mo #4)
The Kids Are Fine, Alright?
Lullaby for Lily Grace
Lullaby for Opportunity
The Medicine
More Than What (or “The Duplicity of Man”)
My Honeybunch Lee
My River Song
Nerdy Pop Culture Property Song
Oh, Vincent
Paper Towns
Put a Stone Upon My Grave
Quite the Guy
Rigel’s Song
Seersucker Prince
Solitaire
The Tension’s Mountain Boys
Thylacine, Thylacine
Trying Not To (Half-a-Mo #3)
When Bridget Riley Smiles
When the Band Plays (In 3/4 Time)
Zoe’s Silver Space Suit
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Arms and Eyes
Unreleased, EP scheduled for 2023
It took a year for me to notice
you had arms and eyes
I’m not sure why it took me so long
I saw you so many times
I was distracted just enough
by someone else standing nearby
But even then, I somehow knew
He wasn’t you, it was a sign
I wrote the same letter six times
and I regret every word
I gave up and started again
but yet again it was absurd
To think that you’d even remember
what I said or what you heard
You’re a giant
I’m a little pillbug hidden ‘neath the earth
So boy, put your records on
Play my new favorite songs
Then laugh and say you don’t know what to say
I’ll say it for you if you let me get in your way
I walk down streets that you know well
and I get lost, but I will learn
I spent hours in the caves
looking for you ‘round every turn
My friends look at me with pity in their faces, all concern
An empty window makes me think of you
and boy does my face burn
I’m traveling somewhere I’ve never been
I bet you know you the way
You’re a few miles up the road
just out of sight but I can’t say
Can I ever catch up to you where you are,
is it too late
You’re so fast and I’m so slow
and I’m afraid that you won’t wait
But boy, put your records on
play my new favorite songs
Then laugh and say you don’t know what to say
I’ll say it for you if you let me get in your way
So boy, put your records on
Play my new favorite songs
I’ll laugh and say I don’t know what to say
You’d say it for me if I would get out of my own way
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
The Autumn of Western Civilization
Release: 2015 YouTube video, 2014 on “B-Sides” & “Rarities”
Everyone’s putting ‘way electric fans
and getting out their sweaters
We’ve stopped worrying about our tans
and thinking ’bout something better
The air is getting crisper
and I’ve started wearing socks
Everywhere I go there’s whispers
of a time that’s not on clocks
But nevertheless it’s coming soon
Or wait—no—is it here?
Has it finally truly started
this, my favorite time of year?
It’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Scarves and hats are feeling nice time
Cinnamon-nutmeg-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now
It’s popularized by Starbucks lattes
but everywhere you go now is that taste
in cookies and candy and body lotion
And now that it’s here I’ve got a notion
That Halloween is just ’round the bend
You better start costume shopping friend
And after that Thanksgiving so tasty
And then—let’s focus on fall, don’t be too hasty
‘Cause it’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Shorts and sunglasses at half price time
Cinnamon-ginger-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now
We won’t be seeing the sun too often
The only drawback to what the Brits call “Autumn”
Get on your boots and button up your flannel
Sorry if you’ve got solar panels
‘Cause it’s everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Eating your feelings by the slice time
Cinnamon-nutmeg-clove-and-allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins
Everything tastes like pumpkin spice time
Getting harder to find a nice rhyme
Cinnamon nutmeg clove and ginger
and sometimes mace
and apple cider
and cocoa and leggings and what the heck is allspice
Everything tastes like pumpkins now
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
The Ballad of Me and My Books
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred
If I said I loved you
Would you believe it?
I’ve said it so many times
But I don’t treat you right, it’s true
And anyone can see it
Even though you complete my life
You’ve been living on that shitty
particleboard shelf from Ikea
for ten years or more
Except the fantasy and sci-fi
all crammed on a CD rack I
got for free when I worked at the record store
There’s tacky romance stacked
on top of YA paperbacks
Empire Falls next to The Stars’ Tennis Balls
Shakespeare props up Scott Pilgrim
My bookshelf’s looking pretty grim
And I just don’t know what to do at all
They say if you love something, set it free
But somehow I doubt all my books
would come back to me
Maybe it’s time to grow a pair
Stop piling new books everywhere
I’m a grownup and I could
buy something actually made of wood
My books bring me so much joy
It’s time they got the real McCoy
Although I know it might cost a bit more
That’s what God invented credit cards for
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Black Market Queen Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred She was a sweet country girl with big blue eyes and ringlets of gold in her hair She had a daddy called her princess and always said she'd never have a single worry or care But that princess grew up and daddy skipped town And she was stuck without a dime to her name So she pulled up her boots and put on her crown and said "I'll rule this county just the same" She was the belle of the ball And the top of her class And if you try to cheat her she'll cut you down fast She's as cool as ice and bold as brass And she'll fill up Carolina's glass She's the Black Market Queen of the Flask Well by about the time she was twenty and five she was bootlegging bourbon and selling off wine She had an eye for a deal and could sniff out a lie 'Fore you knew it, girl was selling across the state lines Was a time or two she nearly got caught and spent the rest of her life in shame But a Carolina mama doesn't raise no fools Hail to the queen, long may she reign! She was the belle of the ball And the top of her class And if you try to cheat her she'll cut you down fast She's as cool as ice and bold as brass And she'll fill up Carolina's glass Well she's the Black Market Queen of the Flask
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Buried on the Beach Unreleased There's a boy I once loved I once held in my arms Now he's far away, out of my reach Gone are his smile his laugh, and his charms The boy buried on the beach He went for a sailor When he was 18 Sailed far away, out of my reach I counted the days 'til he'd return to me The boy buried on the beach I waited so patiently Biding the years While far away, out of my reach For he owned my heart, my soul, and my tears The boy buried on the beach He met me by moonlight when he returned So near, but still out of my reach He showed me he now wore A gold wedding band The boy buried on the beach There's a boy I once loved I once held in my arms Now he's far away, out of her reach Gone are his lies, his inconstant charms The boy buried on the beach
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Cabbage Rose Release: 2018, on You Have Queer Street Cred I love the girl called Cabbage Rose I'll never let her cry And if I lose my Cabbage Rose I think that I will die Yes, I think that I will die I've traveled all the land and sea I've rambled here and there I've climbed the mountain tops And I have roamed without a care But now I've found my hobo queen And never will I stray I will belong to Cabbage Rose until my dying day CHORUS I'll shine the shoes upon your feet I'll fix your leakin' sole I'll sing a song or play a tune To keep stew inside my bowl Give me work and do be kind or I'll have to move along And I will lose the Cabbage Rose for whom I wrote this song CHORUS Cabbage Rose is tall and fair Her hair is black as night Her cheeks are sweet and pink Her eyes are like two pennies bright Her voice is like a turtledove a-callin' out my name Now I have met my Cabbage Rose I'll never be the same I love the girl called Cabbage Rose I'll never let her cry And if I lose my Cabbage Rose I think that I will die Yes, I know that I will die
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Computer, End Program Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred In the 1980s, when I was a little girl I saw a show that showed me the most magic future world And when my folks were mean I'd think about the world on my TV screen I'd say these words and hope that it would take me far away Computer, end program Take me away from here Take me to the future where life's easier to bear Take me to a time where they've abolished doubt and fear Computer Are you there? I knew there must have been some reason I'd been trapped in that dull life Obviously my real folks were a Commander and his wife She'd always understand my thoughts and feelings, she'd just know And one day they'll come and bring me back to my starship home CHORUS Even though I'm grown up now And know it's all fantasy There still are times when life gets to be too much to believe And when I feel defeated, brokedown and beaten, like I just can't win I find myself saying these words, as if this time, maybe I'll get in Computer, end program Take me far away from here Take me to that future where Life's got to be a little easier to bear Take me to that time where they've abolished doubt and fear Computer, are you there?
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Fictional Love
Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred.
Note: The lyrics to this song have changed over the years, so what is listed below will usually be how I am currently performing it. The lyrics listed on Bandcamp are as it was recorded in 2018.
When I was a girl I wrote silly love songs
I now regret
That favorably compared me and the boys I liked
to Romeo and Juliet
But now I’m older and now I’m wiser
and now I recognize
What real, functional relationships look like
So it should come to no surprise
I want you to be the Harry to my Sally
Can you be the Zoe to my Wash
We could be like Han and Leia
‘Cause “I know” you love me
Like Willow loved her Oz
(I will fight you.)
Be the Phroso to my Venus
Or the Westley to my Buttercup
We could spar like Benedick and Beatrice
You know we’d never get enough
If we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Just pour me a gin and tonic
and I’ll be the Nora to your Nick
You could be Scott Pilgrim to my Ramona Flowers
if I grew my hair “like this”
And if either of us had to die
Tragically or otherwise
I’d rather be your Hazel Grace
or your Angel Dumott Schunard
You could be the Zero Cool to my Acid Burn
Or the Harley Quinn to my Ivy
We could spar like Lizzie and Mr. Darcy
Oh, you know just how it would be
If we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
I don’t want a fairy tale
or a tragic love that ends in tears
Don’t lead me on like Aragorn
Just be my Faramir
We could ride your scooter through Monmartre
Like Nino and Amélie
Or dance across the rooftops
If you’d be the Bert to my Mary
You could be the Megan to my Fleinhart
Or the Hodgins to my Angela
We could spar like Gilbert and Anne Shirley
Oh, you know we’d never get enough
If we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Oh, if we had fictional love
(Sha-la-la la-la-la la-la)
Or you could be the Jack to my Sally
or the Gomez to my Morticia
or the Morey to my Babette
or the Lord Peter to my Harriet
or the Ruby to my Sapphire
or the Booga to my Tank Girl
Or you could be my Little Prince
and I could be your rose
Four of a Kind (Half-a-Mo #2) Unreleased When you move on out to Hollywood and you're reaching for the stars You're hoping for your name in lights driving fancy cars But you'll settle for a bungalow and some friends to share the load And a landlord who knows what it's like to be Four of a kind A shoulder to cry on and keep you in line Four of a kind They've been there too, tell 'em what's on your mind Four of a kind It's your time to shine
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Hell (Is Just Another Heaven) (Half-a-Mo #1) Unreleased Hell is just another heaven Another place with not that much to do But if you end up in hell Then baby, you might as well Be a murderer like me and that's the truth You could go to dog heaven or Jewish heaven You could go to beach heaven except it's full But if you go to hell Then baby, you might as well Be a murderer like me and that's the truth
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
The Hounds of God Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred In the summer twilight underneath the ghostly moon The ivy-twined jungle sings a solitary tune Beneath an oak by lightning struck there lies a grave forgot Cracked and broken, water-stained with decimated rot Oh, stay away Oh, boy you better stay away Beware the headless angel listen to her silent cries Far from the sanctuary where your old caretaker lies He warned you of the danger but you didn't heed his word And when the ghouls have got you will your cries for help be heard? Oh, stay away Oh, boy you better stay Away from the gates of hell Where day folk fear and night folk dwell A road, and nothing but a road That leads you far afield Lightning strikes the dead red sky In a place where bad things go to die When you think at last your soul is lost The Hounds of God are there Traveling their own road Going into Hell and out They move like spirits in the night Unplagued by fear or doubt The gift their maker gave them lets them save you from yourself Pursuing evildoers past the tolling of the bell CHORUS
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
I Want to Hold Your Hand in German (Half-a-Mo #4) Unreleased I want to hold your hand in German And stroke your hair in Japanese I’ll learn to sigh your name in Persian And kiss you in French til we’re weak in the knees I’ll tell you just exactly how I feel in ancient Aramaic Before I ever say a word you’d understand
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
The Kids Are Fine, Alright? Unreleased It's a tale as old as time A song as old as rhyme People wanna know just why The young people are so mystifying They don't act the way we did Who can understand those crazy kids It's almost like every generation changes to avoid cultural stagnation I might be going out on a limb But bear with this unpopular opinion It's possible society isn't in defeat just 'cause no one ever actually needed dryer sheets And maybe, just maybe, all those participation trophies Actually weren't our fault Hey, we weren't the ones that were handing 'em out The kids are fine The kids are gonna be just fine The kids are alright The kids always turn out alright So we don't have diamonds or life insurance or ever get a raise but we have feminism and discourse and we're all pretty freakin' gay We'll take selfies if we damn well please celebrate random anniversaries— "On This Day in 2003, I tried hummus for the first time" Apparently. CHORUS Hey you know what millennials REALLY love? Ironic nostalgia! Don't stop believin', hold on to that feelin' Take on me (take on me) Come on Barbie, let's go party (ah ah ah yeah) I bless the rains down in Africa Can you feel the love tonight's the night when two become one Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming Back to the rules and I hit the ground running So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? Backstreet's Back -- all right! CHORUS
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Lullaby for Lily Grace Unreleased Lily Grace, come rest your head The stars are beckoning you to bed Lily Grace, just close your eyes The stars are watching you from the sky Dream your dreams and have no fears When you awake, you'll cry no tears All day long you ran and played You've danced your dance and now it's late Lily Grace, now count your sheep And let me sing you into sleep Wink and blink and nod goodnight Everything will be alright Lily Grace, your heart is new You'll learn someday all it can do Lily Grace, someday you'll cry Mother will be there to dry your eyes There is so much to feel and see For now you're safe so sleep, baby
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Lullaby for Opportunity Release: 2019 single Close your eyes, little rover, close your eyes 'Cause it's getting dark and you know you're getting tired You've been roving all day long And a-singing your roving song So close your eyes, little rover, close your eyes Rest your head, little rover, rest your head Let the dust fall down around you like a blanket red You've been working oh so hard And you've traveled oh so far So rest your head, little rover, rest your head Go to sleep, little rover, go to sleep Just fall into those dreams so sweet and deep Your sister's waiting there for you And we'll keep working while you do So go to sleep, little rover, go to sleep
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
More Than What OR “The Duality of Man” OR “I Hereby Announce My Candidacy for Continuing to Try” OR: "The Prosecco Song" Unreleased, EP scheduled for 2023 I want to live in big cities, spend weeks in small towns And sometimes spend days in the woods I want to stay up ‘til sunrise and dance with the stars And never see my phone again But I know I’ll need my phone again ‘Cause I can’t stay upright without all of my friends So I’ll run through the woods one more time Then go home to my little place by the bay I say that I write but all I write are songs And that’s all people know of my time And I wish I was young so I had more time left But I hate being taken for 25 ‘Cause I remember who I was at 25 And I know how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve tried So I never want to be seen as something that’s less Or just not what I am And I’ll sing it one more time And I’ll make one more tired old rhyme And I’ll tell you I intend to try To be something more Than what I got Sometimes I wanna laugh and sometimes I wanna cry And sometimes I wanna hide in a cave Sometimes I wish no one would look me in the eye But then I wish everyone knew my name ‘Cause I sing about whiskey but then I drink prosecco I live like a shout when I feel like an echo Sometimes when this livin' gets to feel like a prison I start to forget who I am I hate lavender, but I love lilacs And I love being on the road, but I sure hate driving ‘Cause I contain multitudes CHORUS
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
My Honeybunch Lee
Release: 2018 on
I will wait for my Honeybunch Lee
‘Til the rivers run dry
mountains crumble to the sea
I will sit here waiting
’til she knocks upon my door,
Tells me she don’t want to wander anymore
Well my baby, she’s traveled for a very long time
From Poughkeepsie to Nevada, from Spokane to Anaheim
She’s been riding on that railway line
Since the Orpheum Circuit took away that love of mine
Playing two-show, three-show, four-show a day
With her dancing chinchillas and accordion to play
One day I know she’ll get tired of that vaudeville life
And come running home to be my little wife
I will wait for my Honeybunch Lee
‘Til the rivers run dry
mountains crumble to the sea
I will sit here waiting
’til she knocks upon my door,
Tells me she don’t want to wander anymore
Well, it’s been a few years since I heard from Honey Lee
Not a telegram from Paris or postcard from Albany
She’s been playing and a-singing all over this land
And the missing her is just about as much as I can stand
Well maybe my baby has forgotten all ’bout me
Maybe I’m a fool for waiting when she’s off in Tuscany
But a life without my Honeybunch I never want to see
So I’ll just keep waiting here for Honey Lee
I will wait for my Honeybunch Lee
‘Til the rivers run dry
mountains crumble to the sea
I will sit here waiting
’til she knocks upon my door,
Tells me she don’t want to wander anymore
‘Til her ship returns here to my lovin’ shore
‘Til the vaudeville life becomes an awful bore
‘Til she comes home to be mine forevermore
back to top
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
My River Song Release: 2013 on Edit That Shit When we met I knew I'd seen your face before in the future once I was so sure that you'd remember How can I convince you I'm the one? Every day I try to remind you of the things we'll do one day You'll get it soon, you're awfully clever But for now it's hard to make you stay And I know you like I know the back of both my hands You and I one day we traveled here and far to distant lands When you're with me things won't have gone wrong Until then I'll sing my river song You have told me all your secrets That you can't tell anyone Our love light's an unlit ember We'll burn bright, but now you turn and run Even when you're near I'm wishing You'd coming walking through that door Save me from the past and present In the future we'll have so much more And you know me like you've known no one else in your time Lord I know we'll get there someday The wait though, is a crime When I'm with you things won't have gone wrong Until then I sing my river song Each day of my future is our past Each one of your firsts will be my last
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Nerdy Pop Culture Property Song (or, "A Song That Was Dated a Month After it Was Written") Release: 2014 YouTube video, 2014 on "B-Sides" & "Rarities" You guys like stuff, right? And you like stuff about the stuff you like So if I sing about the stuff you like Will you like that too? You like Star Wars, right? Han totally shot first I only watch the first three 'cause the prequels were so trashy But the new Disney stuff might be alright (Shit, you're losing them) How about Doctor Who He's a madman in a big blue box Fighting Cybermen and Daleks Sometimes blowing shit all to heck But -- I mean -- he always tries to do the right -- crap Arrested Development Something about illusions not tricks And there's a banana stand, and a muscle suit David Cross blows himself Damn, I blew the joke (I don't know what I expected…) If I keep singing about pop culture I know I just can't lose I gotta keep up with that pop culture If I ever wanna get on JoCo Cruise
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Oh, Vincent Released: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred Oh, Vincent Your matriarchs didn't have luck at home Your mother and hers raised their kids alone They sent their shiftless men packing off No wonder you wanted better odds Oh, Vincent You made all the girls at school swoon and sigh The redhead they all wanted to be like And to be near Oh, Vincent You had it all, what else could you want Burning your candle at both ends, you did it all All the boys and the girls 'round your little finger with Beauty and talent and wit and luck at first Beautiful, this day Beautiful, this day Beautiful, this day No matter Oh, Vincent You traveled the world with your lovers Left him at home writing letters Begging you to return to your Steepletop Wanting you near, but you just couldn't stop Oh, Vincent When you lost your world that night, didn't it sting Couldn't find solace in anything Your head full of what was gone up in flames Even the morphine could only ease the pain Oh, Vincent You had it all, what else could you want Burning your candle at both ends, you did it all All the boys and the girls 'round your little finger with Beauty and talent and wit and luck at first Beautiful, this day Beautiful, this day Beautiful, this day No matter who has died
Secret text with a secret purpose.
Begone!
Paper Towns Release: 2018 on You Have Queer Street Cred I was a dreamer and you were a dream You were a schemer and we were a team You showed me the way to a dozen places new Hidden from sight 'til I followed you Wanna build you a castle of stone and sand No wishes or dreams, just these two hands Let's go, we should have hit the road yesterday Roll out the map, show me the way And take me to a paper town Hand in hand, we'll tear each building down See what's hidden behind the lie See what's real, see what's inside I'll let you take the mask from off my face You'll just see a star as it falls from grace Only if you promise to let me in And never ever to ever never ever let me down again I want something real, something I can touch Spent my whole life wanting it this much Maybe I'm fool to still believe That you're the hero I thought I'd need To take me to a paper town You and me, we're gonna burn it down We're gonna set this whole town aglow Should have set a match to this place long ago Even if you never return my call You'll always be the one who set me free Please take my weight, don't let me fall And take me to a paper town We'll take hands and tear each building down See what's hidden behind the lie See what's real, see what's inside Take me to a paper town You and me, we're gonna burn it down We're gonna set this whole town aglow Should have set a match to this place long ago